Sunday, February 22, 2009

This Week in Jerusalem! Could it really BE?

Here we are. It has come to this. 42 hours and counting. Tick-Tock. Tick- Tock.

Every year, around the Pesach Seder table, the last thing that we say together is "Next Year in Jerusalem". Do we really ever believe it when we say it? Doubtful.

For several months now; almost since the time that I really knew that I was going to make it and survive, I have had a feeling of some loss. Not a bad loss, mind you, but a loss nevertheless.

Maybe not so much as loss, as a yearning. An unfulfilled want; a desire so strong that mere words alone cannot begin to describe the emptiness of having left something of oneself somewhere so many miles away, that the simple thought of going to look for it after over twenty years deems it impossible. Or does it?

The loss of which I am speaking; The yearing; The burning desire and absolute necessity to go to now find what I have misplaced well over twenty years ago is so apparent, and has seemed so very unattainable, that I felt unable to ever be able to locate it, let alone, grasp it, hold it and return it to its rightful place; Within me.

The object of which I speak is simply, a piece of my soul. A part of my Neshama. Part of my very essence and being; Some of G-d's light that was bestowed onto me from HaShem himself forty-seven plus years ago.

In 1984, I left it somewhere safe. I left it in walls that speak to us in sing and prayer. I left it in the City of David. ירושלים של זבה. Jerusalem of Gold.

As I prepare now for my final night in my own bed for a few weeks, I will finish making final "i" dotting and "t" crossing, before walking onto a jet tomorrow headed east, and from there, and after a day long respite in my favorite City in the world, I will board a silver and gold eagle that will take me home. Home to Jerusalem. To reclaim that piece of my soul that was left there so many years ago.

I look forward to sharing each and every step with you over the next few weeks, and welcome your thoughts and comments.

B'Shalom, uB'Ahava... With Peace and Love...


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