Thursday, March 4, 2010

A non-beating heart still beats...

There are times when just as I am about to write this column for you, I receive something via e-mail, or enjoy (or not so much) a telephone conversation, and it is so profound, so meaningful, that it would be absolutely wrong of me to not share it with you here.

As many of you know, I do much work with an organization called "One Heart".  We work with families of victims of terror attacks.  The father in a family that I have become so very close to, sent me a letter that was recently published in Israel.  I would be remiss were I to not share it with you.

2500 days without Tal.

Thursday, January 7th 2010, the 2500 Day without Tal.

The count of days is long, very long, too long. 2500 days that my Tal does not leave home. Not for shopping, not to the movies, nor does she return from the army or the university, not from a trip abroad. 2500 Days without Tal. Days without me worry for Tal.

357 weeks in which I did not see my daughter, I did not hear her voice, I did not laugh from a joke she told me or from one of her silly acts. I did not smell the scent, did not embrace her nor was I embraced by her. I did not spend even one afternoon together with her at a café or at a restaurant, or even just being together. I even did not receive a phone call nor a text message from Tal.

2500 days of "creativity". How could I, her father, preserve her memory in unique ways? How should I tell the world Tal’s story? Tal which lived such a short life but the wisdom she accumulated and the joy of life she shared gave so much hope and happiness to people she met.
208 months, in which every 5th of the month brings me to that Wednesday, March 5th 2003, the day my Tal boarded the bus in Haifa, the bus from which she it did not get off. I live the same nightmare I'd give anything not to experience. A nightmare of a parent searching for his daughter after a terror attack holding at every glimmer of hope even after entering the pathological institute in Tel Aviv. Then, unlike in fairy tales, as the clock hit midnight the doctor at the pathological Institute said "we have a positive identification of your daughter Tal which was killed at the terror attack”.

Six years, 10 months and two days is a long period of time. During such a period of time a baby already goes to second grade. Tal’s classmates finished their mandatory military service while other became combat pilots and are flying F-16 jets. Tal’s age group started its independent cycle of life while others are right before getting their master's degree. Medical student already began to cure his patients while my daughter lies in her grave in Haifa, and only the rose bush over her tomb is growing another cycle of roses, as life goes on!

2500 days and nights since I was forced over the fence to leave my routine life and start my life as a bereaved father, fighting a Don Quixote war at the wind mills of time, trying to fight forgetfulness, howl, and state my silent cry, I have a Daughter! And the world shall never forget my TAL!

I sit in Tal’s room and write from my heart in another desperate attempt to preserve my daughter’s memory. I found this 2500 day without Tal, a good reason to remind you, you busy people living your routine life about my daughter. And what would be on the 3000s day? When it will arrive? What will I be able to dig from the bottom of my soul to remind you then?

I sit it Tal’s room hearing in the background the breathing of my youngest daughter which was born four years and two months after Tal was killed. She already heard about her sister and recognizes Tal’s picture, approaching is also the recruitment day of my son, who will safe keep and protect him? I hope and pray they will realize and live their lives safely here in Israel for many years.

Ron Kehrmann the father of Tal (z”l) Dror and Mika.

I continue to believe, as does Ron Kehrmann, that as long as our loved ones' memories live on, so they will their hearts continue to beat.

From the Emek in the Midbar, I send you Ahavah, uV'rachot, Love and Blessings...

--Rabbi Alan Abrams

1 comment:

  1. That is so powerful! It makes you pause and think about the important things in life. Beautiful letter.